Your breath stops, your hands get cold and you get that dry sensation in your mouth… You feel your heart beating like crazy, you’re stomach is in knots and your whole body stiffens up. Recognize that feeling? It’s fear…. I am a big believer that human beings are motivated by two primal factors: fear or love. Almost every choice or action we make can be analyzed to be motivated by pleasure or pain. Either we choose a strategy to move away from something that we fear (pain) or move towards something we love (pleasure).
In these instances where fear possesses us, it is the ego which is afraid: it’s afraid of losing its power and control. We are afraid of getting hurt, of making fools of ourselves, of giving our opinions, of not being loved or being rejected. We fear the unknown… Our insecurities take over and we begin to act like self-doubting idiots, so we panic, and often overcompensate or act in illogical ways. At times we even manage to crowd or smother our loved ones with our desire to have them in our life, often forgetting how important their own personal space is. We forget that our actions affect others and can result in overstepping boundaries.
Fear of losing something or someone triggers us to react without consciously thinking, so we end up acting like insecure teenagers regretting our unusual behaviour afterwards. It’s often the things or people that matter most to us that cause us the most uncertainty. I’ve found myself guilty of acting foolishly faced with my own uncertainties and losing sight of other people’s boundaries and personal needs.
Uncertainty breeds irrational behaviour... I believe it’s ok to feel fear as long as you have enough courage to dance with it rationally. In a nutshell, fear makes us do stupid things... Being rational, when you are in a state of fear however, is easier said than done. As humans, we generate possible outcomes to the problems in our heads (most of which unnerve us with how negative these outcomes could be) so we activate the “worry engine”. If we don’t stop this process, we often latch onto imaginary scenarios, and begin to treat that “potential future” as a reality –which turns it into a doom’s day movie in our mind. We proceed by repeatedly scaring ourselves with negative thoughts, and we begin acting as if those thoughts are real, instead of just an internal fear. We become obsessed with worse case scenarios and the what if’s… Result: pure stupidity 99% of the time.
We must remember that past experiences may fuel our inner fears, but we are not bound to them eternally. We can take control of our thoughts and acknowledge that they are just that: mere thoughts. They don’t have to take over and turn us into psychopaths.
On a martial art path to freedom, enlightenment or whatever we aim for, it’s normal to experience fear in different areas of our life. The skills and abilities we gain as martial artists should be applied to everything we consciously do every day. Once again, I am guilty these days of not following my true path of "mu shin". (It is a state of mind without fear, anger, or anxiety) However I believe we are all guilty of this at some point throughout our journey. As our behaviours are not cut in stone, we can adapt and change the way we react to fear. By facing it head on, whilst taking a step back to get a better perspective, we can sail through the unknown unaffected by our crazy thoughts.
When they do arise (and believe me they will) we just have to remember to stop, clear our minds and breathe ….
In these instances where fear possesses us, it is the ego which is afraid: it’s afraid of losing its power and control. We are afraid of getting hurt, of making fools of ourselves, of giving our opinions, of not being loved or being rejected. We fear the unknown… Our insecurities take over and we begin to act like self-doubting idiots, so we panic, and often overcompensate or act in illogical ways. At times we even manage to crowd or smother our loved ones with our desire to have them in our life, often forgetting how important their own personal space is. We forget that our actions affect others and can result in overstepping boundaries.
Fear of losing something or someone triggers us to react without consciously thinking, so we end up acting like insecure teenagers regretting our unusual behaviour afterwards. It’s often the things or people that matter most to us that cause us the most uncertainty. I’ve found myself guilty of acting foolishly faced with my own uncertainties and losing sight of other people’s boundaries and personal needs.
Uncertainty breeds irrational behaviour... I believe it’s ok to feel fear as long as you have enough courage to dance with it rationally. In a nutshell, fear makes us do stupid things... Being rational, when you are in a state of fear however, is easier said than done. As humans, we generate possible outcomes to the problems in our heads (most of which unnerve us with how negative these outcomes could be) so we activate the “worry engine”. If we don’t stop this process, we often latch onto imaginary scenarios, and begin to treat that “potential future” as a reality –which turns it into a doom’s day movie in our mind. We proceed by repeatedly scaring ourselves with negative thoughts, and we begin acting as if those thoughts are real, instead of just an internal fear. We become obsessed with worse case scenarios and the what if’s… Result: pure stupidity 99% of the time.
We must remember that past experiences may fuel our inner fears, but we are not bound to them eternally. We can take control of our thoughts and acknowledge that they are just that: mere thoughts. They don’t have to take over and turn us into psychopaths.
On a martial art path to freedom, enlightenment or whatever we aim for, it’s normal to experience fear in different areas of our life. The skills and abilities we gain as martial artists should be applied to everything we consciously do every day. Once again, I am guilty these days of not following my true path of "mu shin". (It is a state of mind without fear, anger, or anxiety) However I believe we are all guilty of this at some point throughout our journey. As our behaviours are not cut in stone, we can adapt and change the way we react to fear. By facing it head on, whilst taking a step back to get a better perspective, we can sail through the unknown unaffected by our crazy thoughts.
When they do arise (and believe me they will) we just have to remember to stop, clear our minds and breathe ….
